


Holic

by MarieMaknae23



Category: GOT7
Genre: Anal Sex, Bittersweet, Blow Jobs, Cock Slut, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mention of jjp, One-Sided Attraction, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Power Bottom, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Singer Choi Youngjae, Smut, Substance Abuse, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:48:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25211164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieMaknae23/pseuds/MarieMaknae23
Summary: Im Jaebum is a famous composer and producer, he's been in love with Youngjae, better known as Ars one of the best singers of South Korea, for years, still knowing that Youngjae isn't the angel everyone thinks he is. One day he decides it's time to confess all his feelings in the best way he knows: through music, although, it's not going to have the happy ending he always wanted for both of them.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Holic

**Author's Note:**

> I am tired of stories in which Youngjae is always good and angelic

The voice of the singer filled the small studio, entered his ears and strangely warmed his being, his voice comforted him, calmed him, found peace in his voice as he didn't find it in anyone else and, that Choi Youngjae, also known as Ars in the music industry, one of the best voices in South Korea, was singing his song, it was his favorite part of that time.

Only the heavens knew how much Im Jaebum had worked to get into JYP as a songwriter and producer, where most of his favorite artists were, where he knew his songs had a chance for someone to sing and make them famous, where, almost immediately, he had made a name for himself among the less famous artists, starting to climb, until finally Youngjae decided to sing a song by him, which was several weeks in the first place, even despite being a ballad and competing with more famous singers and stronger songwriters, thus becoming his songwriter of choice, most songs from his albums had been replaced by Jaebum songs, just because he had become an Ars songwriter had made him the highest royalty songwriter under 25 and under 10 years with the company.

“That seems to me to be perfect. Do you want me to sing it again?” Youngjae asked, taking off his headphones, satisfied with his work.

“No, I think it's okay too” Jaebum smiled at him, softened by the way the younger's hair had been ruffled by removing the heavy headphones, “You did well, you deserve a break” he said, smiling playfully at him.

“I thought I was the one who decided that.” Youngjae said, raising an eyebrow and they both laughed. 

“You only decide if you pay for dinner” Jaebum replied, winking at him.

“What dinner?” Youngjae asked, smiling confusedly. 

“The one you're going to invite me to when we get out of here,” Jaebum replied, laughing warmly and shrugging a little, shooting Youngj one of his looks that would have melted any girl, trying to ignore his nervous heart leaping into his chest, he had to maintain the chic look that everyone in the company believed he had, when his reality was different.

His reality was that he was completely and irrevocably in love with Choi Youngjae almost from the moment he had been in the same room as the singer, from the moment he chose one of his songs, from the moment Youngjae smiled at him with one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen in all his 24 years of life, he felt his heart burn with passion when he heard him sing with his beautiful voice those words he had written so carefully, without thinking about how beautiful it would sound in the voice of a Angel like Youngjae, immediately making him his muse, suffering as a teenager in love with the most popular girl in school, while he was just a lab rat, even though he wasn't really a lab rat nor did he look like one.

A lot of the girls in the company were dying because the young composer would look at them whenever he came to work, arriving in his shiny brand new car, with designer sunglasses, expensive clothes and his black hair always styled in a messy way that made him look like he hadn't put too much effort while styling it, his broad shoulders and abs hidden in black T-shirts that only made others imagine what was under the fabric, as well as with his jeans too tight, marking his powerful muscles, doing that those who saw it pass wonder what kind of exercise a composer did to have that body to kill for. 

What they didn't know is that all that appearance was made to attract Youngjae's attention, to make his eyes look at him in another way that wasn't a mere working relationship in which a beautiful friendship grew; every time Jaebum played a note, he stroked his keyboard with his fingers and recorded some guide he did so that his angelic Youngjae would paid attention to him, he realized that, almost from the moment he had set foot in the same room with him, he had been lost in the tenderness of his smile and the warm brown in his eyes. 

He continued to push himself every day after so many years, even though he had realized that his Youngjae was not as angelic as he had originally thought, and that pained and disappointed him as he had never experienced such disappointment and pain. 

When he found out that Youngjae was also gay, because of the image the company created for him of being a romantic who conquered with his voice and chivalry, he couldn't actually see his sexuality, but the first time Jaebum heard that Youngjae had the same sexual orientation that he was by pure chance, just because he heard how his manager reprimanded him before an appointment with the managers.

_ “You don't understand! Your little adventure from yesterday is costing the company a lot. What if it goes to the media?” he heard the annoyed voice of Youngjae’s manager inside the office where they had to meet in less than 5 minutes. _

_ “I gave him good money in the morning before I left. Is he really asking for more?” Youngjae said in turn, Jaebum peeked a little in the room, conquered by curiosity and could see Youngjae with glamorous clothes, the kind of clothes used to go clubbing, dark glasses, tired gesture and crossed arms. _

_ “Obviously it will not be enough, he has videos and photos of you doing, God knows what...and not only you two having sex, he has the evidence that you used drugs with him” Jaebum felt his stomach go down to his feet, his ears couldn't believe what he had just heard. _

_ “Well, but you will be able to solve it, he is not the first man to be silenced, daddy JYP knows how to take out his wallet to avoid this kind of thing, or the media will realize that JYP likes that trainees, men and Women alike, suck his cock, just like I did” Youngjae replied with a haughty gesture and Jaebum wanted to vomit, that was not his Youngjae. _

_ “You know why the company is getting tired of your blackmailing and countless adventures full of alcohol and drugs” the manager answered sharply, hardening his voice and Youngjae rolled his eyes, inside Jaebum something kept breaking into pieces. His Youngjae having a promiscuous life? His Choi Youngjae, with an angelic smile and a tender look, taking drugs and having sex with someone unknown, blackmailing the company that had made him grow and being rude to the staff? _

_ It wasn't as if Jaebum was completely innocent, he had also had his one-night stands once in a while, had gotten black out drunk and even had tried some weed and pills once; neither it wasn't that he didn’t know that the entertainment world was full of prostitution, abuse and forced contracts, the surprise came from the radical change of the Youngjae that he knew, or thought he knew, who he was listening to at the time and no, he was not dreaming, a strong pinch in his leg had confirmed it. _

_ “Well, the company cannot do much about it, I am its best artist and the one that provides the highest income, even JYP knows that it cannot do much or will lose more than I have made it earn all these years, he doesn't really want me to talk to the media” Youngjae replied in a bad mood and Jaebum decided that he had heard enough.  _

So whenever Youngjae was late for meetings, wearing thick sunglasses or trying to hide his neck and collarbones, Jaebum's heart ached a little and at several points he thought seriously about forgetting something that could never be, to stop him from hurting when he saw and heard about his adventures, but then he heard him sing again and Youngjae praised him for his enormous talent for expressing such simple feelings in an almost poetic way and his heart was pounding against his chest, he spent one more night awake, imagining that he was the person who would change the way of being of Youngjae, that once he tried his lips he would no longer have the need to keep looking because he would give him everything he needed, including eternal love if it was possible.

X

X

X 

“Calling planet Defsoul” some hands tapped him on the back and he removed his headphones, he was listening to a demo of what his new song would be. “Working on something new so soon?” It was Jinyoung, one of his best friends, if not his best friend, who was also a producer in the same company and, also, had a heart-stopping voice that could have made him debut years ago, but the boy preferred to stay in the behind of success.

“I had nothing better to do.” Jaebum shrugged. “I like having enough options for Youngjae to choose from.” Jinyoung struggled not to roll his eyes.

“Can I hear?” Jinyoung asked, taking a seat beside him “Don't worry, you know I'm not going to copy anything from you, your style is too different from mine.” 

“Just because I write of love and you of lovelessness and heartbreak?” Jaebum laughed, handing him his headphones.

“Well it is thanks to someone I write of heartbreak” Jinyoung said, suddenly adapting a serious tone and Jaebum nervously glanced down, despite being his best friend, from time to time he always brought up that the older had rejected his love confession, many years ago. “It 's okay, sorry, I said we were not going to touch the issue and I was not going to be a bitter and vindictive bitch” he apologized fast, seeing the change in Jaebum’s attitude “Let me then listen, then” Jinyoung adjusted his headphones and Jaebum pressed play “Whoa, whoa, whoa” Jinyoung said, eyebrows raised when the first chorus passed. “The enigmatic Defsoul, who wrote the most romantic and poetic songs, and even one about a fish tank has changed rather radically his style” Jinyoung started laughing mockingly. “Is it sexual frustration I’m hearing on this song?” 

“It's not sexual frustration” Jaebum grumbled in a bad mood, snatching the headphones and stopping the music, which made Jinyoung laugh more heartily “I just…I want to offer Youngjae more options. Ars should not always be a ballad singer, people would be bored of the same thing.” 

“Tell that to someone that doesn't know you, Jaebum” Jinyoung told him, wiping away the tears that had rolled down his cheeks due to laughter, “The only thing you have to do is to grow some balls and ask him if he wants to fuck with you,” Jinyoung said and Jaebum gave him a small slap on the shoulder. “Well, you can ask him out to dinner or something and then you seduce him after” Jinyoung told him and Jaebum frowned and lowered his face “I mean a real date, not just a friends hangout, he has to know it’s a date and not like friends.” Jinyoung added before Jaebum opened his mouth to say something “Stop with the bullshit that you want him to realize through your songs how you feel about him, you see that it hasn't worked after all these time…” 

“Youngjae!” Jaebum suddenly shouted very effusively, interrupting Jinyoung and the mentioned one entered the small study.

“Ah, good! you are here! I'll hide for a while with you, my manager is chasing me for I don't know what, I don't know now what I did now” he rolled his eyes and sat in a chair in front of Jaebum and Jinyoung repressed a laugh when he saw his body attitude change completely, unconsciously flexing the muscles in his arms and gently leaning towards the young singer, who didn't seem to have realized that the other composer was there “working on something new?” 

“Yes, I prepare much more before you for your albums” Jaebum said, trying to ignore Jinyoung, who was behind Youngjae and shot him mocking glances, also squeezing his crotch and pointing at Youngjae “You know...I don't know...I had thought that we could get together one day at my house and listen to the new demos.”

“Your house? Why not here?” Youngjae asked him, looking crealy confused.

“Excuse me. I have to go now, i feel like i’m feeling kind of sick” Jinyoung intervened, after pretending to vomit behind Youngjae “I leave you to make your plans to...listen to the demos.”

“Don't listen to him” Jaebum replied when Jinyoung left the room, not without stopping to glance at Jaebum “As a child his mother dropped him on his head or something” Jaebum rolled his eyes and Youngjae laughed with one of those laughs that Jaebum felt like it warmed his soul.

“I can see you’re very close, you and him” Youngjae told him, Jaebum felt the adrenaline rush through his body, it had been too long since they were alone in the same room. 

“We've known each other since high school, unfortunately" Jaebum sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He is my best friend.”

“Oh! Just friends...I just...I thought that” Jaebum's stomach flipped. "Well...it's very difficult to see you two apart”

“Oh not at all, we are just friends. Well, we have had our drunken nights in which…” Jaebum realized he was talking too much so he fell silent with an embarrassed smile “Well, he is just my friend.”

“Ah, that’s good!” Youngjae said, smiling from ear to ear “You know, I think I do have some time tonight to listen to the demos. In my opinion, it is time to move on from those boring work meetings, I always feel more comfortable in more cozy and relaxed environments. Don't you think” Youngjae shrugged casually and Jaebum swallowed hard, he couldn't believe his luck.

“Eh…” in his mind there was only a strange buzz “Is it okay around...8?” Youngjae widened his smile “Sushi?” 

“It seems perfect to me,” Youngjae said, checking his cell phone and standing up “See you at 8. Send me your address over a text so I can drive there.” 

“Sure, see you there” Jaebum said with a dry mouth.

X

X

X

At 7:30 Jaebum wandered around his living room incessantly, arranging and unsettling the cushions and his record collection, thinking that maybe he looked too groomed and too formal or maybe he looked too messy and didn't seem to care about that meeting. 

He had showered thoroughly, had even thought about shaving everything, with the fact that without hair it may look bigger, but, he also conclude that it would seem too planned; To choose the right clothes, he tried on half his wardrobe, trying on everything from casual shirts to dress shirts, and again, he decided on a simple black shirt and some ripped jeans, styling his hair completely back and placing all of his best piercings in the nine holes in his ears. 

Before leaving the room he made sure to put within reach the condoms and lube that he had just bought when he left the agency, he had too much time without some action that he didn't have a permanent stock and assortment, although perhaps from that night that could change.

At 7:45 the sushi he had ordered arrived and he placed it with care on the coffee table where he had already placed his laptop and a notepad and finally, 5 minutes from the agreed time, he took a seat on the sofa, drying his hands constantly and with an upset stomach because of the nervousness, he was seriously thinking that he would not be able to eat food in his presence.

When the doorbell rang at 8:10, Jaebum leaped off the couch as if he had sat in hot oil , luckily there was no one but his cats to watch that embarrassing reaction; He looked at himself in the mirror before opening the door, his heart beating so fast in his chest that he thought it would come out of his mouth as soon as he opened it to greet him.

"Hey Hello!" Youngjae greeted him when he opened the door, he looked adorable in his black sweater with a cute heart design on his chest, ankle-length denim pants, white socks and black sneakers. With that look, he looked more like a 15-year-old boy than the superstar that only wore Gucci and Versace.

"Hey! did you struggle to find the place?" Jaebum asked, stepping aside to let him pass, he felt he had sandpaper in his throat.

"Not at all, it's not like you have to hide from crazy stalking fans" Youngjae replied, still smiling, that smile seemed to suddenly light up the apartment. "Oh! Cool! You did buy sushi! I'm starving" Jaebum made just a strange growl in response that Youngjae apparently couldn't hear, thank God.

"Shall I offer you a beer?" Well, he had been able to recover his normal voice "Or I have soft drinks and…I think I must have a bottle of red wine somewhere" he pretended to look in his cupboard, but he knew perfectly well that he did, he had just bought it together with the condoms, remembering exactly how Youngjae said in an interview that the wine made him happy and talkative. He didn't want to get him drunk, he just wanted to lighten things up a bit.

"Hum, I think wine goes more with sushi, don't you think?" Youngjae said, sitting more comfortably on the couch.

So they had dinner and drank a glass of wine talking about trivial things, despite being too nervous, it had always seemed too easy for him to talk to Youngjae about anything. They started talking about their careers, ranting against some company managers, things that looked bad in the way they treated trainees; then they moved on to the last movies they had seen and Youngjae recommended several that Jaebum assured him to watch; Later, about four glasses of wine later, they began to delve deeper into his songs for musical composition, as Jaebum found inspiration in every little part of his life, as he poured out his soul in each new song he released and made him proud that Youngjae was capable projecting his feelings with his magnificent voice.

"You know, I think we have totally deviated from what we were supposed to do" Youngjae interrupted him, putting a hand on Jaebum's chest and formulating a somewhat silly smile on his lips "I am too hot, I am sure that the Wine has already worked for me and I haven't even listened to your new proposals, surely alcohol will cloud my senses."

"I thought you would have more resistance at this point" Jaebum joked.

"I have resistance to other liqueurs, wine makes me more…" he left the phrase in the air and his cheeks turned a bit more pink "Let's say that it clouds my senses faster, so don't trust the opinions I tell you so much today."

"Or maybe It'll make you see it differently." Jaebum shrugged, choosing one of the songs "This is called Bad Habits, if you don't like the rapper you can change for someone of your preference…well…if you like…"

Youngjae listened silently, paying attention to the tune played by Jaebum, shaking his head at the rhythm imposed by the song; the melody was slow, sensual, Jaebum's voice echoing softly on the speakers, the composer as he felt his guts knot, watching with doubt the expression of Youngjae, who had closed his eyes, still moving his head to the beat and Suddenly gesturing at the phrases you will like best.

"Basically the song talks about a man who explains to his partner that he will not stop being the way he is, despite the fact that she says he has too many bad habits and that it is not what she wants for him, but he keeps telling her that he will be like he is forever and that if she is not happy she could leave, or something like that" Jaebum explained, wanting to break the silence and not hearing any opinion from him.

"I love it, that's the way it should always be, I don't know why in a relationship they insist on wanting to change people, and then they say that they are no longer the same person they fell in love with.” Youngjae said, nodding, taking one more drink to his glass, ending with the crimson liquid and pouring himself a little more “Also the rhythm, I have never heard such a sensual rhythm in you. This is definitely different from Ars's honeyed romantic ballads, fans would get a heart attack, but I could finally have the manly and seductive concept I’ve always wanted, not just the boyfriend type” the last notes of the song sounded and Youngjae ran a hand through his dark hair, clearing his forehead and putting on an expression that made Jaebum almost have a heart attack and, out of nowhere, he laughed out loud, changing his expression 180°. “The company will be very pleased that I finally changed my concept for something more mature.”

“It wouldn't bother me, I think people are going to get bored of the same, also, as the song says, you shouldn't change your way of being for someone else” Jaebum said, looking intently at Youngjae, who had kept eye contact, until he shifted in his seat and chose another song from the list, causing Jaebum's mood to deflate a little, he still couldn't understand, did he have to be more aggressive? 

**“** _ Sin,  _ well, well Im Jaebum, what were you thinking while writing this?” Youngjae asked him, resting his elbow on the edge of the sofa, resting his chin on his hand, listening with interest to the song and throwing a hard to decipher look to Jaebum “Are all the songs in this style?”

“Something like that” Jaebum nodded his head “Let’s just say this is also my style, my color, it’s just that I haven’t been able to show it, just like you”he added, licking his lips and not seeing how Youngjae imitated him, staring at the older man's lips. “The one I have planned for the title song is called  _ Holic _ , although maybe it's a little bit more…” he knew perfectly well that this song said everything he felt for Youngjae and, encouraged by the wine, he knew that this was the right moment, there wasn’t going to be another atmosphere as perfect as that, it was even getting darker outside, so the room had just been illuminated by lamps in the corners of the living room, he had to get up his courage, as Jinyoung had said. “I just want you to remember that my songs always have my deep thoughts in some forms, there is always something about my feelings, just keep in mind that.” and he pressed play.

_ When i see you walk in _

_ Before I know it, i’m thirsty  _

_ It’s my body responding _

_ My whole body reacts to your sweet scent _

_ It’s alright  _

_ When you're just talking _

_ It feels like you’re seducing me _

_ I can do it, i can stop it, yeah  _

_ I ran into you for just a moment _

_ But why am I shaking like this?  _

_ I fell for you and i can’t stop it _

_ I’m sorry i can’t keep my eyes off you _

_ Oh i just want to stay like this girl _

_ I can’t restrain anymore _

_ I can’t wait anymore _

_ I want you in my arms right now, yeah  _

_ It’s like a galaxy in your eyes _

_ I’ve fallen into zero gravity _

_ I am swimming in it _

_ I want to enjoy more inside you _

_ There are one or two questions _

_ That i solve about you _

_ But i’m still more curious about you _

_ I want all of you _

_ When you smile with your eyes in front of me _

_ I fall for you again  _

_ There is no point in pinching my cheeks to wake me up _

_ I want to hold you _

_ I want to be with you _

_ Hold my hands, stay with me and hold me tight, yeah _

_ I’m sorry i can’t keep my eyes off you _

_ Oh i just want to stay like this girl _

_ I can’t restrain anymore _

_ I can’t wait anymore _

_ I want you in my arms right now, yeah  _

_ One step at a time, baby _

_ Come next to my side, baby _

_ One step at a time, baby _

_ Come next to my side, baby _

_ I’m sorry i can’t keep my eyes off you _

_ Oh i just want to stay like this girl _

_ I can’t restrain anymore _

_ I can’t wait anymore _

_ I want you in my arms right now, yeah  _

At some point, Jaebum didn't really notice when, he started singing softly, turning up the intensity until he was pouring his feelings into the song, looking intently at Youngjae, who had also fixed his gaze on him, at some point in the song they had come dangerously close, their knees bumping into each other, his hands had intertwined in Youngjae's soft hands, and it would only took one firm movement for Jaebum to finally take possession of Youngjae's delightful lips. 

“You know, I wrote this song especially for you, Youngjae…” Jaebum said in an airy voice, his breath mingling with the other. 

“Like all of my songs” the singer began to reply, his breathing had become heavy and he couldn't take his eyes off Jaebum's lips, he knew that the song had its effect and that, in some way or another, Youngjae was beginning to succumb to desire too.

“No, no, this is different, it is for you, Youngjae, not for Ars, not for the public...for you.” Jaebum said, placed a hand on his cheek and with his thumb caressed his lips, listening to him sigh “ _ I can't wait any longer, I want you in my arms right now _ ” he repeated that line again just before Youngjae rushed against him, joining his lips in a desperate kiss.

Jaebum was shocked for about half a second, he knew that he must act fast, experienced, as if he really knew what the hell was going on, he had to ignore his racing heart or the knots in his stomach, instead decided to pay more attention to the burning desire that had lodged in his crotch and the softness of the singer's lips, delineating and savoring each groove, each crack, each corner of his mouth.

Youngjae tangled his long fingers in the older's straight hair, increasingly pouncing on him, ending up straddling his strong legs, Jaebum hugged his narrow waist and continued dancing against Youngjae's tongue with his, the minor's hands began to undo the buttons on the other’s shirt, one by one, as his teeth began a slightly more aggressive kiss, biting and sucking gently on Jaebum's plump lower lip, tearing heavy sighs from him. 

“Oh, shit!” Youngjae emitted the first moan of the night when he finally unbuttoned Jaebum's entire shirt and his abs were exposed, Youngjae ran his hands over the extension of his chiseled abdomen and chest, the fire in Youngjae's gaze went away straight to the crotch of the other, who by this time was already feeling too uncomfortable inside his pants, and they had just started “It's better than I ever imagined.”

“Did you imagine?” Jaebum gasped, the phrase had taken him by surprise.

“Please, Jaebum, you are one of the most handsome and hot people of the whole company, besides me, of course” he smirked and his his hands began to take care of the belt “You are the preferred topic of conversation of the stylists and staff, not only the female staff” the tips of his fingers stroked the beginning of his pubis and Jaebum’s stomach contracted “They weren’t so discreet with their bets on about which way you swing, nor their obvious flirting, I still don’t know how you didn’t notice.”

“Well, maybe it was because I only have eyes for someone” Jaebum shrugged his shoulders “Don't you think this sofa is somewhat uncomfortable?”

“And what are you suggesting?” Youngjae asked, putting on an innocent face that, if someone saw that face, they wouldn’t believe how the singer, just a few minutes ago, had his tongue up to the other’s throat. 

“Well, I don't know, maybe we’ll be a little more comfortable in my...in my…” The words fell from his lips when Youngjae descended from his lap, kneeling on the floor and completely unzipping his pants.

“Yes, I am very sure that your bed is much more comfortable, but I can't take it a little longer, I need to taste you and know how good this monstrosity feels fucking my mouth” Jaebum had a hard time trying not to cum at hearing his words. 

Youngjae released Jaebum's hardened manhood from the prison of his pants, licking his lips incessantly, his pupil dilated with lust running through his veins, his cock stood proudly between the composer's legs, and he couldn't help but feel somewhat proud to the almost obvious that his size didn't disappoint Youngjae, instead he was even desperate to wrap his hand around the base and start pumping it, after jerking him off for a few moments Youngjae's mischievous tongue slid all the way to the base, Jaebum’s moans got stuck in his chest and he just groaned softly, throwing his head back, enjoying what was probably going to be the best blowjob of his life.

Youngjae sucked on the tip, then his tongue moved with undulating strokes across the length of his shaft, completely inserting the phallus into his mouth, feeling the tip of his member touch the bottom of the singer's throat, choking a bit on it, even so, everytime he swallowed everything, Jaebum moaned more eagerly wich Jaebum thought was what prompted him to continue swallowing like that, but Jaebum wasn't going to last long if Youngjae continued with that exceptional work, so he sat up a bit, stopping Youngjae and, not caring that he had just taken his own penis out of his mouth, kissed him as if his life depended on it, standing up with difficulty, drawing him with him so he could finally head to the room.

As it was practically impossible for them to walk together joined by the lips, with Jaebum with the pants down to his ankles and his hard on hanging between his legs, so Jaebum indicated him the way to follow to his bedroom, while he took a few seconds to calm down and to be able to finish with that act in order and without premature culminations. He inhaled a few times in the living room, adjusting his pants and determinedly headed for the bedroom, ditching his shirt down the hall, exposing his well-toned chest.

When he entered the room, illuminated only by a lamp on the nightstand, Youngjae had his back to the door, leaving his things on the table, he had his cell phone in his hand and was texting something, Jaebum approached him carefully, startling him when his arms wrapped around his slim figure, there wasn't much difference in height, so he could easily place his lips on the white skin of his neck.

Youngjae threw his phone anywhere, tilting his head so that he could have better access to his neck, letting Jaebum's hands reach inside his black t-shirt, touching his stomach, going up to his chest, gently pinching his nipples, feeling how they hardened at the caress; after leaving his chest he lowered back to his hips, unbuttoning his pants to enter his hands with ease, brushing against his hardened cock, Youngjae whimpered and turned around, removing his t-shirt as well, revealing the whiteness and softness of his skin, his shoulders adorned by black ink, his soft abdomen, decorated with a minimum amount of hair, a happy trail that was lost in his pants, teasing him about the wonders beneath the piece of clothing. 

Jaebum couldn't think of anything else than the perfection of the singer. 

Jaebum kissed him again, taking his face in his hands and pushed him so that the back of his knees collided with the bed and making him fall on it; Youngjae repositioned himself better in bed, settling at ease on the older man's wide bed, with him on top of him, receiving him with joy between his legs. Jaebum needed to be skin to skin with the younger, so he wasted no time in getting rid of the remaining clothes they both had left, licking his lips at the sight that Youngjae's naked body offered him and his skin bristling at the contact of his warm skin against his. 

“You are a work of art, Youngjae” Jaebum sighed, kneeling between his spread legs, stroking his smooth thighs, and Youngjae smirked, jerking off with a slowness that could be sin. “You really do honor to your stage name, Ars…” he whispered

“Look who says it” Youngjae refuted with an airy voice, sitting up a bit and kissing him again, both seemed to have become addicted to their lips. 

For a long time, what seemed like centuries to Jaebum, they took turns kissing, caressing each other, getting to know each other's body, Jaebum recording in his mind every mole, every freckle, every gesture that Youngjae made every time he touched him in places, making him moan out loud for more. Jaebum dedicated himself to kiss every inch of his body, from his soft neck, sniffing his sweet aroma, leaving some reddish marks in this area, going down his chest, taking his time to take both his nipples in his mouth, feeling the mounds harden in his mouth, going down to his abdomen, leaving some more marks in there, stroking his long legs adoringly, tasting Youngjae’s hard cock in his mouth, ignoring the sloppy and lewd sounds that filled the room while he sucked his cock effusively, making Youngjae moan even louder, all the sounds he made being like music to his ears. 

Youngjae wasn’t shy in being loud and vocal, and Jaebum loved that. 

He had imagined a thousand times in situations similar to that, but none of those fantasies surpassed reality, he just couldn't believe that indeed Youngjae was beneath him, his body writhing in pleasure, his hands clenching him tight, but his bites hurt, and that’s what made him realize that he wasn't dreaming at all. 

He needed more of Youngjae, he needed to feel his warmth more intimately. 

“Fuck this” Jaebum muttered against his shoulder full of ink when Youngjae squeezed one of his buttocks, his lips felt kind of dry from so much kissing. “I need to fuck you right now.” In his mind he always thought he would tell him in a prettier and more romantic way something along the lines of  _ i want to make you mine  _ or  _ I want to be inside you  _ but his lust and need was greater and he no longer thought things through clearly, yet Youngjae seemed to love this.

“You know, I'm not usually the one on the receiving end” Youngjae licked his lips, positioning himself on the bed as Jaebum looked for the lube and the condoms left strategic in the drawer of his nightstand “But tonight I will make the exception because with a man with so much testosterone like you…” he shuddered “Although it would be also hot if it turns out you like to be subdued” his lips caught Jaebum’s lower lip, who had returned to bed.

“Maybe another day” Jaebum muttered against his lips, grimacing a bit, he hadn’t received at any time in his sexually active life “Even though I won't deny that I like, you know, the occasional finger slipping or some rimming…” Youngjae smiled wryly and kissed him passionately again.

After a few seconds the younger broke the kiss, eyeing Jaebum completely and then turning around, placing his butt on his face, taking Jaebum's erection in his hands and starting to carefully suck the tip.

Jaebum for his part, buried his hands in the soft and white asscheeks of the younger, separating them as he pleased and revealing the tight ring of muscles, which his tongue soon began to kiss, feeling each groove, each irregularity, introducing carefully inside it, delighting in the soft moans of the singer, who in turn worked with skill in his erection, gobbling up everything, feeling the tip of his member touch the bottom of his throat.

Jaebum poured a squirt of lube on his entrance, tasting it again, delighting in the mixture of the taste of his hole with that of the strawberries of his favorite lube, his index finger joined the caresses of his tongue, alternating who it was the one who entered that tight passage.

“Shit, I love how you fuck me with your tongue, Jaebum.” Youngjae let out a lusty moan, carefully pumping his hard on, which was completely dampened with his saliva.

“I know you love it, but I know you would like it better when my cock enters your tight ass, and for that I need my fingers to do their job” Jaebum smirked and squeezed tighter on his ass, taking one of his testicles inside his mouth carefully as his middle finger joined the index on its journey to expand the interior of the younger so that he was ready to receive him inside. 

Several minutes passed in which Jaebum devoted himself to expanding his tight passage, delighting in the soft sounds that came from Youngjae's mouth, especially those that came out when he touched that point that made him writhe with pleasure, tightening the sheets under his fingers and his toes contracting, sometimes his teeth sinking a bit into the smooth skin of the dick he was still sucking greedily.

“You don't have to be delicate with me, Jaebum, trust me” Youngjae panted after the composer his prostate once more and his whole body shuddered dramatically, almost exploding “Put it in. Now.” he demanded. 

Jaebum didn't need to hear it twice, to tell the truth, Youngjae's mouth worked wonders and he didn't want to cum without being inside Youngjae first, so he immediately moved under him, picking up the lube again and squirting a lot on his cock, putting on a condom once he was at it. 

Besides him, Youngjae stood on his hands and knees, bringing one of his hands to his entrance, inserting his own fingers into his tight hole and moaned with his eyes closed.

“Oh you have no idea how beautiful you look” Jaebum said, standing behind him and squeezing his buttocks between his fingers, burying in the soft flesh. “It’s so weird how you can be so angelic and yet look like...like…”he stopped in the middle of the phrase, did he really want to call  _ his Youngjae  _ like that?

“Say it, fucking say it” Youngjae urged him, turning to look at him “I am. I'm not as angelic as you think, Jaebum, I thought you knew” Youngjae turned around, standing in front of Jaebum, putting a to hand on his chest and pushing him until he was lying on his back and climbed astride, his cock slick with lube ended up in between his buttocks, he moved his hips suggestively and Jaebum gasped softly “I'm a whore, I love cock, I love it when they’re hard and I can lick them as a lollipop” he dug his fingers on his chest and the tip of his dick started to push past the tight rim of muscles “I love it when they’re inside me” Youngjae let out such a lewd moan that Jaebum almost cum instantly after hearing him, overwhelmed with the sensation of the warm inside of Youngjae tightening around his manhood “I love to feel the thickness inside my ass, and I love to feel how hard  _ your _ cock is inside me” he added, going all the way until he had the older’s cock all inside him “fuck me hard, fuck me like the cockslut I am.”

Again, Jaebum didn't need to be told twice, he clamped his fingers on his hip and started thrusting hard at him, marveling at the dirty expression on Youngjae's face, plagued with pleasure, throwing his head back, his pearly white skin sweaty, cheeks flushed and his erect member swinging in his belly, dripping with pre-seminal, his mouth letting out the most obscene and beautiful sounds Jaebum had ever heard.

Jaebum had to stop for a few moments in order to take a deep breath and delay his orgasm somewhat, his body had so much fantasized about that moment that his end was coming too fast, but obviously Jaebum didn't want to end that quickly.

Although he wasn't so sure he could delay his orgasm when Youngjae started riding his cock with experience, his cheeks bouncing against his skin with sin, filling the room with the sound of the skin slapping against skin, the squelch of the his dick covered in lube going in and out at a fast pace out of Youngjae, adding them to the loud moans Youngjae let out, Jaebum also finding out he was moaning loudly at how great Youngjae was riding his dick. 

Youngjae had told him that didn't usually was the bottom, but he moved in such a skilful way that at some moment Jaebum felt a pang in his heart when he recalled that, in fact, Youngjae liked to sleep around with anyone, and judging his abilities, it was too frequent for his liking. But Jaebum was sure he would make him feel love for the first time, he would teach him what a stable relationship could do, he had already declared his love and now they were doing it, obviously it also had to mean that Youngjae had also realized he had feelings for Jaebum, seeing the passion he put into love making, and if not, well, Jaebum was going to make sure of showing him that he wasn't going to need anyone else after him. 

Jaebum sat up, hugging Youngjae tightly, his hips meeting on the way, his lips taking possession of his neck, kissing him everywhere, adding more reddish marks on his neck, Youngjae in turn scratching his entire broad back, leaving deep scratches that reddened instantly, to which Jaebum replied with stronger bites on his shoulders and lips.

They fell back onto the bed, this time Jaebum on top of Youngjae, sitting carefully on one of his legs and the other resting ankle on his shoulder, letting his full weight fall back onto him, pushing his hips slower, but deeper, making Youngjae moan even louder, his pleasure face was even more beautiful from above, all of Youngjae was precious to him, his face was the most precious piece of art and his moans where as perfect as his singing voice; Jaebum was pretty sure that his moans were so loud that even the neighbors could hear them, but he didn't care about it, his neighbors where louder sometimes and it had been a long time since he brought someone home, and they hadn't been as loud as Youngjae. 

“Shit, Jaebum, like that” he panted, entangling his fingers in the older’s hair, pulling it towards him so he could kiss his lips, but what happened couldn't even been called a kiss, it was just a messy union of tongues and lips, leaving traces of saliva all around his mouth and chin, making that kiss dirtier. 

Jaebum felt intoxicated by the other, his scent, his presence, his beautiful expression of pleasure, his warm interior, the tight entrance pressed against his manhood, the melodious voice filling the apartment with loud moans.

“Shit, baby, you are so beautiful,” Jaebum said in a broken voice because of the effort he was making, bringing his legs together and resting them on his shoulders, Youngjae had his eyes tightly closed, his hands caressing his own nipples. “Fuck baby, I’m going to cum…”he announced, feeling how all his blood rushed down his cock “You’re so good.” 

“No, please don't stop” Youngjae whimpered, one of his hands had went to his own dick, which was too swollen and reddened “I’m so close too, fuck, please don't stop, don't stop…”he pleaded over and over, masturbating quickly and Jaebum obeyed him, seeing the despair in his voice, preferring to please him before it meant his end as well.

His thrusts became more erratic as the minutes passed, until, unable to contain a second longer, he ended up cumming, digging his fingers into the younger's hips so hard that he was almost certain that he was going to to leave bruises with the shape of his fingers; Youngjae kept on stroking his own erection, muttering Jaebum not to come out, a few minutes later his back arched, letting the most beautiful orgasm moan as cum shot out of the redden tip of his cock. 

Jaebum was quick, immediately when he felt Youngjae's body convulse under his hands, he leaned in the way he could to put the other's erection inside his mouth, receiving every last drop of his semen in his mouth, swallowing everything Youngjae offered him. 

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, only being able to hear the sound of their breaths returning to normal, Jaebum had laid down without care in bed after discarding the condom and carrying two bottles of water to rehydrate, as well as wet towels to clean the cum remains in his abdomen before they became a sticky mess; Youngjae had simply stayed in bed, not even worrying about covering his nakedness, again he was texting someone, his eyes slightly closed with exhaustion, and yet the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It felt somewhat domestic, like if they did that everyday, because with his other adventures they almost always wanted immediate comments about their performance.

“By pure chance, don't you have some weed or similar?” Youngjae suddenly asked, throwing away his cellphone and stretching like a cat “I love it to finish relaxing after a quite pleasant fuck” he smirked and approached Jaebum, stroking his chest with the tip of his fingers “and to grab energy for a second or third round.”

“No, I'm sorry” Jaebum answered, again ignoring the twinge in his chest that reminded him of what he knew of Youngjae “I don't do drugs.”

“Weed is not a drug, it’s natural.” Youngjae said rolling his eyes, his hand going down further each time, making the desire again begin to accumulate in his lower abdomen “it’s good to realx and there is more pros than cons, have you never had sex while high? Or got high at all?” Youngjae asked, turning towards him, this time his hand stroking his crotch, coming dangerously close to its entrance. 

“I have, I didn't say I have never done drugs or weed…” Jaebum's breath hitched a bit, feeling his index finger press against his entrance “I'm not very...I'm not very…” Jaebum’s brain couldn't think properly, being distracted by the curious finger “I’m not very fond of it and it’s not something I do very often, I did that mostly in college…” just when he felt the finger of Youngjae pressing harder and going in a bit Jaebum stopped his hand immediately “I’m sorry, I don’t quite like this…” Jaebum smiled awkwardly.

“Oh, I thought you did, you said so…” Youngjae immediately removed his finger, pursing his lips slightly “It’s fine, I understand.” he sighed and stood up leaving the room, leaving Jaebum wanting to bang his head against the wall, it was clear Youngjae got a bit annoyed. 

He returned with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in his hand, lighting up one and smoking, sitting on the edge of the bed, still without covering his nakedness.

“I mean, I do like it, but it’s not very common for me, I like it when it’s like a surprise when receiving a blowjob or the occasional rimming while at it, but...not just by itself, I know I should try it sometimes, and I’m not against versatility in a relationship…” Jaebum babbled while Youngjae smoked, without looking at him. 

“Can I take a shower?” he interrupted him. 

“Yeah, sure” Jaebum said, leaning back in bed, hating himself a bit “The bathroom is at the end of the hallway.” 

“Aren’t you coming?” Youngjae asked him seductively, offering him the cigarette he was smoking, taking the lube and a condom from where they had left them, Jaebum took the cigarette between his lips and followed Youngjae, feeling a bit better that Youngjae clearly showed intentions of doing it again, and Jaebum was certain that he would try to please Youngjae as much as he liked, he would never get tired of the singer. 

X

X

X

He tried to focus for the eleventh time on the keys he just pressed on his keyboard, but still, it didn't sound like he wanted, nothing he had done that day was working as it should, from the moment he wanted to pour himself a cup of coffee and spilled it on him. He knew that his day wasn't going to be very good, he had a bad feeling in his stomach, that and that he hadn't seen Youngjae for more than three weeks.

Jaebum couldn't understand what had gone wrong, that night they had done it at least 3 more times in total, almost in every corner of his house: in the shower, in the living room while they waited for Youngjae’s dealer with the weed, and twice in the bedroom while they were high; it just seemed like Youngjae couldn't have enough of Jaebum and to tell the truth, he was sure he could never get tired of Youngjae’s perfect body and his way of making love. 

There was no doubt that Jaebum loved sex, for him it as like an art, he loved the power and intimacy that he felt on the spot, he loved to make his partners enjoy, but he had never liked sex as much as he did with Youngjae; the younger responded too well to his caresses, to his hands, his mere presence seized with pleasure was a work of art, something almost divine, Jaebum kept praising his body, praising all of him and Youngjae only moaned louder in response, even the last time they did it, Youngjae cum so hard that tears rolled down his cheeks and his legs shaked for a good few minutes. 

Absolutely everything indicated that Youngjae had had a great time, Jaebum even complied in smoking with him and letting him finger him, so Jaebum couldn't understand why he woke up the next day to an empty bed and only his body full of hickeys as evidence that what had happened the night before had not been a dream.

When he got to work the next day, he felt a knot of nervousness in his stomach, he was dying to see Youngjae and ask him on a date, invite him to dinner or to the movies, to tell him again how much he had enjoyed the night before, he wasn't even bothered by Jinyoun’gs mocking glances when he saw his haggard face and his efforts on hiding his neck filled with hickeys; Jaebum just wanted to see Youngjae again that day, to hear his laugh and his beautiful voice again, however, Youngjae didn't appeared that day, Jaebum could understand it a little, they had fallen asleep too late the night before, also, Youngjae wasn't obliged to go to the company everyday, he must have a recording somewhere else or had just decided to take a day off, he was sure he didn't left his body in a much better state than his, it wasn't good for him to show up to work also filled with hickeys, the entire company maybe was going to connect the dots, maybe he was just busy, Ars's life was very busy, so Jaebum just had to wait.

However, those three weeks later and after many unread messages and declined calls, Jaebum realized that maybe he was doing it to avoid him, and Jaebum couldn't understand why. 

“There is a meeting to choose the songs for the new album in 15 minutes, aren't you going to prepare?” Jinyoung poked his head into his studio a few hours later, Jaebum had given up, his brain didn't want to cooperate with his compositions that day, so he just lay on his stomach on the couch he had in his studio. “Now trying to become one with the couch is the method to be able to compose more?” he could hear the mocking tone in his voice. 

“Shut up” Jaebum groaned irritably.

“Come on, don't tell me you’re depressed again because of Youngjae not answering you” Jinyoung sighed heavily, fully entering his studio “it’s been three weeks! Get over it, it’s more than obvious.”

“Still, I want an explanation.” Jaebum sat bolt upright, pulling his hair “I think, at least, I deserve an explanation of why he disappeared and all this avoidance.”

“Maybe he thought you fuck horribly so he doesn't want to see you again.” Jinyoung suggested and Jaebum threw him a death glare “Ok, not that, sorry, please don't go again into full details on how good the two of you fucked that night.” Jinyoung quickly apologized “Come on, Hyung, you perfectly know what happens when Youngjae disappears like that, the last time was because he was so stoned and high to leave his apartment.” Jinyoung shrugged and Jaebum didn't want to think about it, yes, he already knew that the younger’s long absences were due to his small drug problem. “Cheer up, he has to be in today’s meeting, you know he always wants to choose the title song.” he said “I bet today you can talk to him, so please, snap out of it.” 

10 minutes later Jaebum was outside of the boardroom, he would have to intercept Youngjae before he decided to escape, he honestly didn't even have much heart to listen to his explanations, but his heart needed it. 

He could hear him coming before he saw him, for his laughter was so unmistakable to anyone who would recognize him wherever he was, even in the midst of a large crowd; Youngjae was coming up the hall, looking even more beautiful than ever, he looked slimmer and his hair was a bit longer, that day he had decided on denim pants and a flowery button down shirt; He was accompanied by Mark, one of the rappers under the company, a cocky American with an air of superiority who wanted to sleep with Jinyoung a while back, but Jinyoung never said yes. He certainly didn't like the closeness with which they were walking, nor the obvious love marks on both their necks. 

“Youngjae” Jaebum called him, ignoring how at one point Mark circled his shoulders with one arm, whispering something in his ear, though it was more close to his neck than anything else, his lip brushing slightly against the skin and Youngjae giggled “Can we talk for a bit?” he asked and he saw how uncomfortable and awkward Youngjae looked “Alone, i promise it’ll be quick, please.” he pleaded. 

“Sure.” Youngjae agreed, pursing his lips, Jaebum guided him to an adjoining room, “What’s wrong?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“What’s going on?” Jaebum repeated, scoffing a bit “Just tell me one thing, Youngjae, why did you disappear?” He tried to hide the pain in his voice. 

“I was busy,” Youngjae said, completely expressionless. 

“Couldn't you even say goodbye? Answer at least one of my texts or my calls?” Youngjae just sighed, looking away “What happened? What did I do wrong? I thought you liked it, I thought I said to you everything that I felt and that you…”

“Jaebum, listen” Youngjae interrupted him, sighing heavily “I don’t know what you expected from me that night, yes, I enjoyed it, but I enjoyed just like I enjoy all the sex, you’re quite a good lover, there’s no doubt in that” he continued “I feel like you had a different image of me, I though you saw who I really am and see that…”

“I really like you, Youngjae” Jaebum blurted “I thought I left it very clear with my songs and all, I’m in love with you Choi Youngjae, i’m not in love of Ars, I am in love with you, with who you are, with your smile and your laughter, the joy and cheerfulness you always bring whenever you enter a place, the way you pour your emotions when you sing, I love…”

“No. Stop.” Youngjae interrupted him “You are not in love with the real me, that’s not the real me, who you saw that night, that is me, I don't give a shit about love or relationships, I like to fuck and I almost never fuck with someone more than one time, and I know what kind of bullshit you’re going to say, that you’ll show me how much you can love me and save me with the power of love and all that shit.” Youngjae rolled his eyes “I don’t give a fuck, I don’t want to be in a relationship, I don’t love you, I’m not interested in you in more than a physical way. I’m sorry, Jaebum, no.”

“But…”

“I already said it, I'm not interested in loving or love itself” Youngjae had a too serious expression “Yes you did a wonderful job, you fuck like a god of sex, shit, I might even want to fuck you here and now and break my rule of never fucking with the same people twice, that’s how good you are, if you want we can keep doing it, but we are not going to be exclusive, i’m not going to fall in love with you or whatever you are thinking. I am not interested in getting romantically involved with anyone.” Youngjae said, slicking his hair back “You fell in love with the wrong version of me, you think you know who I truly am, but you don’t. I know how you see me, I’ve seen it for years, I’ve known for years that you’re in love with me, everybody does.” he let out a laugh “I know that all those love songs are for me, that you took inspiration in your love for me, you wanted me to realize how you feel through your songs, I know that you feel like i’m a sunrise in your life, that i’m an angel, but I am none of it” he shook his head “I like to party, I like to do drugs, I like to sleep around, I enjoy sex as something carnal and that’s it, I’m too fucked up and I have zero interest in changing the way I am.” he said bluntly “I’m very sorry, Jaebum, to break it out to you like that, I think you’re a very talented songwriter, composer and producer, and I love your songs, and certainly I loved your cock, but I can’t and won’t ever answer your feelings.”

“Could I least try to conquer you?” Jaebum asked in a shaky voice, he was an adult man and still he wanted to cry for Youngjae's rejection.

“I know that agreeing to continue sleeping with you won’t help you fall out in love with me, it’s going to hurt you more, i’m an asshole, but I don’t want to be too much of an asshole to you, so, it’s one or the other, we can just have a physical relationship, like I said, but I won’t be exclusive to you and believe me when I say I won’t fall in love.” he sighed once more “Besides, in my contract says that i can’t have a relationship with someone from the staff, i’m sorry, believe me.” he turned around to leave the room and he turned once more to look at Jaebum “also, I decided that Holic will be my new title song, I hope this doesn't affect the great team Defsoul and Ars have been, you’re the reason of my success and it will be a pity to lose you just because of this and I really hope to continue working with you in a future.” and without saying more, he left the room, leaving Jaebum to burst into bitter tears.

X

X

X

6 months later.

“Cheers! For winning album of the year, song of the year and artist of the year!” the CEO raised his glass “Nothing of this would have been possible if not for the mastermind behind it, our composer and producer star, our beloved Defsoul, our Jaebum!” The others clapped and cheered at Jaebum, who just raised his glass ashamed “Therefore, let’s drink and celebrate this victory!” the CEO took a big sip of his drink, and all employees followed.

“Jaebum, say a few words!” Someone shouted “I bet your speech is going to be better than Youngjae’s!” some laughed and he smiled “Tell us what or who inspired you to write such songs.”

“I thought that was obvious” Jaebum said, adopting a cocky gesture “All my songs have been inspired by the love of my life, I’ve always thought love is my greatest source of inspiration, and believe me when I say I have the greatest source of inspiration by my side” he turned to look with dreamy eyes to the person that was sitting behind him, flushing slightly, the entire company whistled and mocked them. “The last three months by your side have been the best for me, I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize that you were all I needed and that you were always there for me” Jinyoung flushed a bit more and covered his smile with one hand, their workmates again mocked them, but Jaebum knew deep down they were happy about them, it wasn't a surprise for the company when they announced they were dating “Thank you for always being my muse, I can’t have a better one, you and I are just like one and I’m happy that you have been by my side all this time.” Jaebum smiled warmly and kissed him softly, hearing more whistles and felt how Jinyoung smiled against his lips, placing one hand warmly on his cheek. 

Jaebum felt a piercing look on the back of his neck, and he was pretty sure he knew who it belonged to, but honestly, he didn't care anymore.

It hadn't been easy to fall out of love with Youngjae, especially having to work with him almost every day, the company hoped that this album would be special, successful and for that he needed the maximum performance of all.

It had been a very difficult task, but after hearing Youngjae’s cold words, he had managed to remove the blindfold from his eyes and started seeing him little by little how he truly was: a spoiled kid that liked to take advantage of the others, hiding under a facade of being a total sunshine, he couldn't see anything of what he used to call  _ his  _ Youngjae.

Fortunately, Jinyoung hadn't made so much fun of his friend after he told him everything Youngjae had said to him, realizing it was very serious for him, and feeling somewhat guilty that he was the one who encouraged Jaebum to be blunt about his feelings. 

Instead, he stood by his side as his best friend through all his mourning steps, until Jaebum began to see him now into a new light, realizing that perhaps their relationship could evolve into something else, realizing how much Jinyoung complimented him, being almost like soulmates, and finally realizing that maybe he had always had feelings for him, so he asked him out, putting an end to that stupid unrequited love he had for Youngjae for years and that blinded him towards true love. 

“I thought that you were inspired by someone else to write your songs, why the lie?” Youngjae’s voice was heard behind him as he washed his hands after going to the bathroom, there was no one else there, Jaebum turned to look at the mirror, looking at Youngjae in the reflection, he was leaning on one of the cubicles to hide his wobble, it was obvious that he was very drunk.

“I obviously couldn't tell that I was inspired by you and all the things I wanted to do to you” Jaebum scoffed “Besides, all songs after that are inspired by Jinyoung, and I would never say what happened about happened between us, I don't want to get you in trouble.” Jaebum replied, wiping his hands.

“Am I not you muse anymore?” Youngjae asked, pouting “I want to be your muse, you always treated me so well and nice, you didn't treat me like a thing” Youngjae took a step closer to him, leaning on his chest “You treated me so good, and you treated me even gooder that night…”

“I’m sorry, Youngjae” Jaebum carefully separated from him “It won't be like that anymore” Youngjae’s brow furrowed “besides, I think you heard, someone must have told you.”

“Oh right, you’re leaving the company to join that stupid of Jackson Wang and his new company” Youngjae wrinkled his nose. 

“I think it’s the best for everyone” Jaebum said, shrugging “I should have done that long ago, it was too painful to see you after all you said to me.” he sighed and touched one of Youngjae’s cheek with care “Please take care, Youngjae, you are a better person than you think, I just wished you could see yourself as I did.” he noticed how Youngjae’s eyes filled with tears “Goodbye, Youngjae”

Without turning back, he left the bathroom, where Jinyoung was already waiting for him and, after taking his hand, both went out into the darkness of the night, without seeing that in the bathroom, Youngjae began to cry helplessly, not knowing why he felt so empty.

**Author's Note:**

> finally! I had this ready about 3 weeks ago and finally I had the chance (and the humor) to finish translating this 
> 
> I know this is not the Youngjae we are used to see, but it is good when we change the things a bit, in my mind, Youngjae was going to be x100000 times and asshole, it ended up him being kind of good, but the thing at the end is that he realizes that he truly cared for Jaebum, but it was too late. 
> 
> I know some of you hate JJP (cofcofchocopieyjcofcof) please don't hate me, it's just for this time, you all know that I only think that Youngjae belongs with Jaebum and viceversa. 
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think! I always love to read you in the comments, they made my day! 
> 
> By the way, how are we Youngjae stans with the amount of Youngjae we are having? I love the recent change in his style and how we all discovered that he has legs for days (I mean, I have always loved his thighs and always wished he could show them a bit more) skdfklsfjdlf
> 
> Also, I'm sad because a year ago I was at Mexico City to enjoy his concert, one of the best nights in my life (actually i'm currently listening to Go Higher and the project we had with green handkerchiefs and stuff was great, no fancam do justice of how glorious that moment was) 
> 
> OK I'LL STOP TALKING SO MUCH IS JUST THAT I MISS HUMAN BEINGS(?) 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter so we can talk a lot more, I love to rant in there 
> 
> See you in the comments and next time! 
> 
> Marie 


End file.
